In addition to the beauty of the writing, I took away from this story a great example of how sometimes we can never guess at the motivations behind someone's actions.
Oh, dear. I have been this cowardly closed-mouthed lion.
The person who decided teeth and eyeballs should not be part of universal healthcare should be made to live without them for a time and see how he fares in the world of work and love. Pfft.
This is raw and powerful. The fact that you can be so open about it now shows how you have once again conquered those feelings of not being “good enough.” The fear of more pain, which you inflicted on yourself tenfold, made you face those harsh realities, and your ability to touch humanity comes from a place of compassion and empathy. You are every much a poet. So I disagree with your ending. Not worthy? Au contraire. Very worthy indeed.
I really enjoyed this piece. Several lines stood out to me, like,
“I'm not sure what I was ashamed of more, to be so poor, or to be without a tooth, to have this ragged part of a tooth in my mouth where a real life should be.”
And,
“I had lost a tooth, that seemed bad enough. Maybe not to a person who has never been called trash, never had to escape a life of drugs, crime, or prostitution. Never seen that life claim a family member, never driven past an encampment of the homeless and wondered if someone you love is there.”
And, finally,
“I was not suited to this beautiful woman with her shiny waterfall of hair, her smart boots, her poems like spells conjured out of the air, these poems that drifted about her like smoke rings.”
Loved all the imagery. Loved the connection I feel to this piece. I appreciated this so much for all the reasons everyone else has said and also because now I know that I am not alone in feeling a bit of shame about a missing tooth. There are so many things that come up when this happens, so many shadows you have to face.
Your story brought to mind a literary talk I attended years ago. Two crime writers, Joseph Wambaugh and James Ellroy, discussed Elizabeth Short -- the Black Dahlia. Wambaugh said that he had seen Elizabeth's autopsy report and had noticed something interesting: she had five unfilled cavities. He said, "This told me she was a loser, on her way down, going nowhere." Ellroy jumped up, showing us his teeth, which were smaller than Chiclets, exclaiming, "Look at my teeth! There's nothing left of them! I've ground them down to nothing! I'm not ashamed! I'm proud of it!"
A boy once didn’t text me back after I had spent the night at his place. I had too much pride to text him first but had left some of my clothes at his place. So I broke in to reclaim them. Then moved states (for an unrelated reason) within a few days. We ended up connecting months later and I found out he had lost his phone the next day, tried to find me at the job I just quit and the house I had just moved out of...so, I understand this story.
Oddly, i am recovering from a painful tooth extraction yesterday. A trusty tooth that has been with me for 56 years was removed. The loss of it was fairly painful and traumatic ~ surprisingly so. A bunch of human comrades sitting in the office after my appointment all raised their hands saying no one had slept the night before their upcoming extractions. Another man was having the entire top row of his teeth removed, and was sweetly terrified and duly noted as I was leaving. There's something symbolic about teeth, control, trauma, and social standing that is explored so eloquently here. It's a deep topic. Thank you for your beautiful writing on this unusual, yet common, experience. Losing a tooth makes us feel vulnerable, and the Tooth Fairy has flown away.
Wonderful. I think we've all been there. I love how the ending is both inevitable and unexpected (and also curiously, pre-emptively trumped by all that precedes it--somehow it's the Poet, in the end, who did too little, making her unworthy of you at least as much as you imagine yourself to be of her...)
I love your writing style and openness. This made me laugh because I have chipped my front teeth after flying over the handle bars of my bike. Thankfully my teeth survived and it is just a cosmetic little unsightly chip, but it’s still a chip that’s dampened my smile 😃
My mom had a lot of problems with her teeth, partly knocked out by fights and falls in her youth, partly just bad genes. Same for my aunt, her sister. As they grew older, they were able to get them fixed. It was such a source of pride, as if they had come out of their childhood of poverty and violence and shame, just from having their teeth finally fixed and looking “normal”.
I enjoyed this story so much, thanks Summer. I love your descriptions - poems like smoke rings, waterfall hair - I can feel them, see them.
Teeth falling out has been a theme here in my family this week - my youngest son lost 3 teeth over the past week, 1 while hiking in the mountains. We didn’t have a date with a beautiful poet, rather a magical tooth fairy!
In addition to the beauty of the writing, I took away from this story a great example of how sometimes we can never guess at the motivations behind someone's actions.
This was so beautiful, and really hit a nerve.
Oh, dear. I have been this cowardly closed-mouthed lion.
The person who decided teeth and eyeballs should not be part of universal healthcare should be made to live without them for a time and see how he fares in the world of work and love. Pfft.
This is raw and powerful. The fact that you can be so open about it now shows how you have once again conquered those feelings of not being “good enough.” The fear of more pain, which you inflicted on yourself tenfold, made you face those harsh realities, and your ability to touch humanity comes from a place of compassion and empathy. You are every much a poet. So I disagree with your ending. Not worthy? Au contraire. Very worthy indeed.
Wonderful. I especially admire the closing lines, the shift of perspective, and the final act of self-effacement.
I really enjoyed this piece. Several lines stood out to me, like,
“I'm not sure what I was ashamed of more, to be so poor, or to be without a tooth, to have this ragged part of a tooth in my mouth where a real life should be.”
And,
“I had lost a tooth, that seemed bad enough. Maybe not to a person who has never been called trash, never had to escape a life of drugs, crime, or prostitution. Never seen that life claim a family member, never driven past an encampment of the homeless and wondered if someone you love is there.”
And, finally,
“I was not suited to this beautiful woman with her shiny waterfall of hair, her smart boots, her poems like spells conjured out of the air, these poems that drifted about her like smoke rings.”
Loved all the imagery. Loved the connection I feel to this piece. I appreciated this so much for all the reasons everyone else has said and also because now I know that I am not alone in feeling a bit of shame about a missing tooth. There are so many things that come up when this happens, so many shadows you have to face.
Thank you.
Your story brought to mind a literary talk I attended years ago. Two crime writers, Joseph Wambaugh and James Ellroy, discussed Elizabeth Short -- the Black Dahlia. Wambaugh said that he had seen Elizabeth's autopsy report and had noticed something interesting: she had five unfilled cavities. He said, "This told me she was a loser, on her way down, going nowhere." Ellroy jumped up, showing us his teeth, which were smaller than Chiclets, exclaiming, "Look at my teeth! There's nothing left of them! I've ground them down to nothing! I'm not ashamed! I'm proud of it!"
Magnificent!
A boy once didn’t text me back after I had spent the night at his place. I had too much pride to text him first but had left some of my clothes at his place. So I broke in to reclaim them. Then moved states (for an unrelated reason) within a few days. We ended up connecting months later and I found out he had lost his phone the next day, tried to find me at the job I just quit and the house I had just moved out of...so, I understand this story.
I hope that somehow, somewhere this writing will find her again and she reads it 💛
Oddly, i am recovering from a painful tooth extraction yesterday. A trusty tooth that has been with me for 56 years was removed. The loss of it was fairly painful and traumatic ~ surprisingly so. A bunch of human comrades sitting in the office after my appointment all raised their hands saying no one had slept the night before their upcoming extractions. Another man was having the entire top row of his teeth removed, and was sweetly terrified and duly noted as I was leaving. There's something symbolic about teeth, control, trauma, and social standing that is explored so eloquently here. It's a deep topic. Thank you for your beautiful writing on this unusual, yet common, experience. Losing a tooth makes us feel vulnerable, and the Tooth Fairy has flown away.
Wonderful. I think we've all been there. I love how the ending is both inevitable and unexpected (and also curiously, pre-emptively trumped by all that precedes it--somehow it's the Poet, in the end, who did too little, making her unworthy of you at least as much as you imagine yourself to be of her...)
Goodness. I love the small bit about toxic masculinity. Such a soft sentence or two that felt beautifully placed.
I love your writing style and openness. This made me laugh because I have chipped my front teeth after flying over the handle bars of my bike. Thankfully my teeth survived and it is just a cosmetic little unsightly chip, but it’s still a chip that’s dampened my smile 😃
My mom had a lot of problems with her teeth, partly knocked out by fights and falls in her youth, partly just bad genes. Same for my aunt, her sister. As they grew older, they were able to get them fixed. It was such a source of pride, as if they had come out of their childhood of poverty and violence and shame, just from having their teeth finally fixed and looking “normal”.
I enjoyed this story so much, thanks Summer. I love your descriptions - poems like smoke rings, waterfall hair - I can feel them, see them.
Teeth falling out has been a theme here in my family this week - my youngest son lost 3 teeth over the past week, 1 while hiking in the mountains. We didn’t have a date with a beautiful poet, rather a magical tooth fairy!